kurgs:

skeletongrazed:

skeletongrazed:

what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails

(via oamerica)

digging-in2-ur-pants:

dangervvank:

"what music are you into?"
"i like this! it’s very grown up…"

I was not ready

(via thegreatmotsey)

c-is-for-circinate:

Bad ass Tony Stark

Once again reblogging for the very simple fact that the answer to,

Who is Tony Stark when you take away the suit?

is

The guy who could and did build the suit

      

(Source: brynndowney, via thegreatmotsey)

"What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?"
-

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)

(via thegreatmotsey)

thehairruffleruinedmylife:

things that have happened in 2014 so far:

  • sherlock comes back from the dead
  • leonardo gets nominated for an oscar
  • nash grier hates body hair
  • jennifer lawrence photo bombs people
  • that movie about the ice came out and that song got nominated for an oscar
  • liam tweeted the duck dynasty guy 
  • supernatural gets a tit load of views
  • justin bieber gets arrested

its only been like two and a half weeks 

(Source: xiumaryam, via fake-mermaid)

hermionejg:

221cbakerstreet:

justdunsparcethings:

REMEMBER THAT PART IN THE ODYSSEY WHEN ODYSEUS TOLD POLYTHEMUS THE CYCLOPS HIS NAME WAS NOBODY AND THEN HE STABBED HIM IN THE EYE WITH A GIANT STICK AND HE STARTED SCREAMING AND THE OTHER CYCLOPS YELLED FROM THEIR CAVES AND ASKED WHAT WAS GOING ON AND POLYTHEMUS SAID THAT NOBODY HAS HURT HIM AND THEY WERE LIKE WELL THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP

golden comedy

But for real.

(Source: scalemail, via the-underground-failroad)